There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
