We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
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