Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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