Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
