So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
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