ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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