Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
