Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
