I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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