you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
