I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
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