k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
These tits shall not be calmed
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
