never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
