Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
