people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
