I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
