Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Its about making memories worth repressing
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
