It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
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