in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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