i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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