Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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