just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Randomize
