I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
