he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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