home. puking in laundry basket.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
