So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize