Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
