do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
