You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
The Olympian is in my bed
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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