bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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