i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
