just survived the first fart of the relationship.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
