You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Randomize
