she was so not down for the gang bang
she smelled like a LAN party
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize