hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
