I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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