idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I haven't been this sober since birth.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
