Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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