TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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