my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
BRING THE BAGELS
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
