just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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