they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
