hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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