I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
