It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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