I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
