if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
