I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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