Dude my mom stole all your condoms
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
