he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
