Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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