i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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