That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
