So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
He better not be in your backpack
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
