I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
