His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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