She is in my trunk
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
