Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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