When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I just gargled with NyQuil
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
