I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Randomize
