i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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