i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
