Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
