Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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